Class: SHOWING NOt TELLING! This is the main message I have gotten out of our classes this last week. It is sort of a struggle to add more words into your sentences but the reasoning behind this makes sense. I feel as though it makes your piece more intriguing and able to be read.
Sentences revised with showing not telling :
PS: The weebly website changed and I am struggling on adding categories and am not even sure if my blog posts are showing up! I will mess around with it a little closer to the due date.
Home:
This week out of school was my first day on the job! It was a thirteen hour shit and it was amazing. I know for a fact that If I can sit inside a four room house with this boy who can barely communicate for thirteen hours and have a good time then I am definitely heading towards the right field. We watched lion king and went for walks to see the high school marching band rehearse, which got him very excited! We read story books and what amazed me the most was if I was reading a book that he had heard before and i paused for three seconds he would continue the next line for me. I learned so much about him and cant wait to go back!
yesterday would've been my fathers 55th birthday which is insane for me to think about! It was the firs time my sister and I werent together but I went with the rest of our extended family to the grave and we had a little party and all caught up. My grandmother always takes these milestone birthdays and anniversarys the hardest but we reminisced about his tough demeanor and told stories and she laughed the hardest ive seen her laugh in a while. It was great to see that.
Sentences revised with showing not telling :
PS: The weebly website changed and I am struggling on adding categories and am not even sure if my blog posts are showing up! I will mess around with it a little closer to the due date.
Home:
This week out of school was my first day on the job! It was a thirteen hour shit and it was amazing. I know for a fact that If I can sit inside a four room house with this boy who can barely communicate for thirteen hours and have a good time then I am definitely heading towards the right field. We watched lion king and went for walks to see the high school marching band rehearse, which got him very excited! We read story books and what amazed me the most was if I was reading a book that he had heard before and i paused for three seconds he would continue the next line for me. I learned so much about him and cant wait to go back!
yesterday would've been my fathers 55th birthday which is insane for me to think about! It was the firs time my sister and I werent together but I went with the rest of our extended family to the grave and we had a little party and all caught up. My grandmother always takes these milestone birthdays and anniversarys the hardest but we reminisced about his tough demeanor and told stories and she laughed the hardest ive seen her laugh in a while. It was great to see that.